Does Being with A person Validate who you are?

I was asked this question not to long ago and it took me aback for a second because I started to realize how many people rely on their Significant other. Some women and men find it hard to be without someone in their lives. These are the type of people whom you see always dating someone one after the other. I began to realize that some people had thought that being with someone defined who they were.

My take on this topic is the following. I think being in a relationship is an added bonus. We should define who we are on our own. You can only really validate the true you by knowing you, loving yourself unconditionally so that you are able to resonate that validation in yourself and confidence in your abilities as an individual, lover and partner. You should never need anyone to validate you or who you are. If any one does then they need to search to find themselves as an individual and on their own. How can one expect someone to truly know them for who they are if they themselves don't even know who the true them is?

Take a look in the mirror. See that person staring back at you? Do you know them? Do you love them? When you look in the mirror is anyone standing next to you on either side? It's just you and the mirror and that individual staring back. Say hello, shake hands and introduce yourself. Ok not litterally but you get what I mean.

Not everyone is able to find themselves at the same time. More often than not that's a journey that each individual sets out to do at different points in their life. Some it just comes naturally others find comfort in hiding. For myself it took a while before I could honestly love me, love me for me and not apologize to anyone for how I was. See when your content with yourself you validate that that's who you are real and honest to the core. Does that honesty get you in trouble. Of course it will but at the end of the day your left with who you are. Don't beg for forgiveness or apologize for one second that you may be a bit Bitchier than others, or shy and very soft spoken. Take solace in the fact that many actually wish to be where you are. Comfortable in your own skin. The validation comes from within, then the people around us support who we are and remind us almost daily of it. Sure being in a relationship is nice but you should never use it as a form of trying to validate who you are, or who you wish to be. All those changes can only be made by you, some times inspired by others but always change comes from within. When your ready for it, on your own time.