Race to the Alter

In lue of the movie 'Bride Wars' I thought I would touch on the topic of marriage and how some brides view this day. As much of Bride wars is a comedy it speaks the truth of what society has come to think of marriages. Within it's comedy layers lays some truth in how some brides can be.

DISCLAIMER: Please note I am not saying every Bride is like this. I'm shedding some light on the not so pleasant side of weddings.

_____________________________________________________________

So you've got your venue booked, the wedding is now 8 months away and your bridal party is picked. Man are you ever on 'cloud nine' until that dreaded phone call. Your future husband looks your way and says "An your bridesmaid Julia is on the phone." Excited to talk wedding you hear those words. No 'hello' only screams "I"M ENGAGED!" . You try your best to be happy but some how you find yourself fuming in anger. How could Julia be engaged when she's only been dating her boyfriend for all of 6 months and it took you 3 years to get Peter to even admit you wanted to be together forever. How unfair is this. To top it off she says "We're getting married this year!". You think to yourself I'd be more than happy if she were engaged and not getting married the same year as me. I mean after all we were engaged before them. And the third and final bomb shell is deployed.. "We're getting married 2 months before you".

Shocked and beside yourself you say "Congrats?"

Inside your head is playing out ways to sneak into her room and strangle her this very instance. The battle replays over and over backdoor, roof entrance, trumpets and horns. Her highness has arrived.
You are now angry with her more than you've ever been in your life. She's engaged after 6 months and how dare she plan to get married before us. She should wait her turn in line. Go after all the engaged couples before her.
Truth is when you told her you were engaged. She was ecstatic, she screamed with you and let you get the excitment off your chest. What do you offer her.. "Oh Congrats"

________________________________________

Alright so that was to the most extreme way (the strangling part) but the rest rings true. I have been apart of forums which involve engaged individuals and this is a topic that is constantly brought up. Women come on the forums asking for advice on what they should tell their BM who just got engaged. How you should tell her that she shouldn't be getting married before you and Johnny boy.

Truth is Brides can be so self centered they refuse to see past their own wedding and dread anyone so much as taking away from their lime light. This includes family pregnancies. You got it some Brides were outraged that someone dare got pregnant during the planning process because heaven forbid it would take away from their lime light for the next 8 months. Brides ache to have it last as long as they can and the prospect of sharing a year or a month is unheard of and simply disgusting in their eyes.

This is the advice I have for those individuals. Who feel the year, month or week is solely reserved for them. GET OVER IT. You have one day and one day only. When all of a sudden did your wedding and your happiness matter if someone is getting married before you. With divorce rates at an all time high and we still wonder why? It's in our eye sight yet refuse to see it. People are taking weddings as a race to the Alter. Spend more energy on what others are doing and how they're doing it instead of focusing on what matters most. There is one thing and only one thing a bride should concern herself with... That's that she get's to marry her solemate, she gets to start forever in his arms at that point where they say 'I do'. Where has the definition of weddings gone why has it become this huge competition.

Even if a friend does have the same wedding month often at times brides will try to one up another. Seriously stealing ideas, dresses, wedding dresses. Just to say their wedding was better than the other persons.

You want to know why my wedding is going to be the best when I get married. It will be because of one reason and one reason only. Because of the man standing at the end of the Alter.

Cherish that day.. that moment for it is one day you will never get back and wish you hadn't spent so much time worrying about others happiness. Share the happiness with your friend, be happy that they are at the same point in their life that you are. That they've found someone like you have where they want to spend forever with. Be happy for those who are always emensly happy for your life and what happens in yours. Give to them what they've given you. An amazing friend, push jealousy aside and be happy that others are just as happy as you.

To all the ladies who aren't like this Thank you :) May you all have many joys in the planning process and those who have already had a wedding may your marraige flurish and may you continue to have all the happiness in the world.